When discussing relationships with a friend of mine she stated that she was only comfortable sleeping with one person at a time but did not consider herself monogamous. This is because she admits and accepts that she is currently in love with multiple people. You could ask, is she poly? I say who cares what you call it. The important thing is that she is being real with what is naturally occurring for her.
Whether or not you call it poly, it is important to accept loving multiple people if that is what is really going on. The truth is that (almost) all of us will date and love multiple people throughout our lives. We may break up and not want to be intimate with someone we have dated, but we might never stop loving that person.*
We are brought up thinking that we will one day find "The ONE" with whom we can live happily ever after. It is easy to view every relationship as a search for this one true love. If this is the case you will look at a life full of failed relationships. Looking back on the failures you might ask,Why did it not work? What is wrong with you? What is wrong with them?
What I would offer is the possibility that we can have multiple loving relationships throughout our lives (simultaneous and/or consecutive). Each loving relationship can have it's place in your life. It can give you love, enjoyment and exactly what you need to grow at that time. It does not need to be forever, and it does not need to be a failure.
I invite you to try on this perspective. Every relationship brought you exactly what you needed at that time. The relationship have you some benefit, love, affection, adventure, pleasure. And it showed you where you can grow: difficulties, heartbreak, sorrow. How do your relationships look now? How have you grown from every relationship?
*My experience is that if I have truly loved someone, I cannot stop loving them.
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