I have met people who have trouble with the idea of Polyamory. Some people think that even consensual non-monogamy is unethical. Others argue that you cannot love more than one person at a time. These views are very understandable. It certainly goes against all that we have been taught in our culture to think that you can love and have ethical intimate relationships with multiple people throughout your life.
I would respond to this by first making it perfectly clear that am not tyring to "convert" anybody to Polyamory. Nor do I feel the obligation to justify my position or lifestyle. But for the purpose of understanding and exploration I would offer up some observations.
If we are talking about love, it is obvious that we can love multiple people. For example, I love both my mother and my father. We all have close friends that we can say we love. Loving one does not take away from loving the other, it never has. It's true, I can get along better with one over another, I can spend more time with one than another but the argument that one cannot love two people at once is rendered pretty useless here.
But it is not romantic love, you say? True, love for parents or friends is different than love for an intimate partner. But my experience is not that a relationship an intimate partner is something completely different but that it contains many elements. Love for a friend will contain enjoyment, trust, willingness to play, companionship, etc. Love for an intimate partner will include sexual attraction, deep emotional connection and often a feeling of "in it for the long haul". So can we be sexually attracted to more than one person at a time? Yes. Can we be in it for the long haul with multiple people? Yes. What about deep emotional connection? This one is a bit tougher: Some people never have deep emotional connection with one person let alone more than one. The majority of us can claim to have had a deep emotional connection with multiple people at multiple times (first and second marriages etc.). I do know that I (and others) have had deep emotional connection with more than one person at a time.
If you think back upon the love stories you have heard throughout your life, see if you can remember a story where a woman (or man) had to choose between two partners (Oklahoma, Twilight 3). What was fairly clear in both of these examples was that she loved both men but "had" to choose. Why did she have to choose? She had to because of the culture at that time. But culture slowly evolves and people find ways to live harmoniously with others. When that happens you have the emergence of ethical non-monogamy and Polyamory.
