Graduation Tears

Last week, one of my lovers and I decided it would be best that we not continue to be intimate partners. 
What is interesting is how this break up is different than my monogamous breakups.  My experience has been that monogamous breakups happen after both parties slowly decline into emotional, and often psychological low points.  This breakup on the other hand, comes at a time when both of us are in excellent, mental, spiritual and emotional health.  We broke up because, we just didn't seem to be seeing eye to eye.  We were both dancing well but to different rhythms. 

When a friend asked about the break up, the first thought that came to mind is that it was more like graduation than dropping out.  We loved each other and learned from each other, then it was time for us to move on.  Most present with me was the beauty and mutual benefit that characterized the situation.

The next day,  I rode my bike to work with the headphones on, listening to a genius mix. "We will Become Silhouettes" by The Postal Service came on and as he sang the beauty of death from nuclear radiation, my breath shortened, my stomach locked up and I began to cry.

I cannot deny the comfort I found in the relationship.  I cannot deny the attachment, the way the relationship made me feel about myself.  I cannot deny the feeling of loss. But I also cannot deny the beauty at how much both of us have grown, how much I still love her and always will.  I am blessed to have share the space with her.  I am blessed to be given the opportunity to move forward in such grace.