I am in love. Yes, it's that giddy beautiful feeling like the entire world is awesome because of incredible people in it. But, in this instance I will (most likely) not be having sex with any of my new lovers because..... they are my housemates. So, is this Polyamory?
What comes to mind is that no, it is not. It is just good, old fashioned "having a good life and sharing it with good people". People love thier job, they love their city, this is nothing new, right?
But If I look at my definition of Polyamory: "...the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved." it seems like this IS an example of Poly. Living with someone is certainly intimate! Indeed, in some ways it is more intimate than sleeping with some one! So have we all been polyamorus for a long time? How many of us have not lived in some form of group housing? Either we have all been Poly or this is not an example of Poly.
I shared my dilemma with Jeni last night and she confirmed that it was indeed Polyamory, because if I were in a monogamous relationship, falling in love with my housemates would be called an "Emotional Affair". This is when you are in a monogamous relationship and you don't sleep with another person but you allow yourself to fall in love with someone other than you lover. This is a major "no-no" in monogamous relationships.
A quick search in the memory banks (to when I was married) and I remember this being an issue. If you only accept that it is possible to love one person at a time, loving someone other than your partner is a breach of contract.
But this, of course, sounds utterly ridiculous to me (right now). Why would you ever limit the number of people you loved? Like the song says, "What the world needs now is love, sweet love..." Not wanting your partner to have sex with another is fairly easy to understand but not wanting your partner to love others, WTF?!? Are these monogamous relationships so fragile that they must limit such a natural and beautiful phenomenon?!?
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